It can be as simple yet powerful as saying, "Hey, I get that you endured a great deal to do that. On the other hand, when someone shows that they took the time to understand your experience and sacrifice, then they genuinely convey a compliment that lands well. It's because of "outcome uncertainty." In other words, just as a leader feels uncertain about how their negative feedback will land after delivering it, they similarly don't know how someone will respond to a glowing compliment. It's not generally adopted as a habit yet.Ĭhris shared that this tendency is not necessarily because leaders don't want to offer feedback or recognition. Giving feedback to develop and motivate team members, let alone recognizing high performance, is, unfortunately, something leaders have to make a point to do. In my coaching work, we have found that building trust and safety isn't just to resolve problems it can motivate and inspire people to their highest performance level.īut for many leaders, actively building these environments tends to become an ancillary job amidst all the pressing business issues and firefighting that they mistakenly prioritize. But "as an American you're never perceived as neutral," Chris told me, "and so my job was always to nurture and create an environment where people could see that person that's sitting across the table as a human being, that they can trust to have their conversation with."Ĭreating this environment of trust translates to any workplace environment, even ones that don't necessarily have conflict. This allows me to be more empathetic to myself and even more so be more empathetic to that other person."Ĭreate emotional safety and recognizing others (and yourself) becomes natural.Ĭhris has been a third-party facilitator in many of the world's regions experiencing conflict, from Israeli-Palestinian to Armenian-Azerbaijani. "And that breaks me out of that triggered reaction, and I go from having an unconscious amygdala hijack response to a conscious response. And is this really that huge? No, it's not.'" "As soon as I ask myself those questions and I put myself in the other world of the other person, then I realize, 'Hey, I'm getting frustrated. "This calms me down and shifts myself to a more constructive state, from which I can then think, 'what is this other person going through right now?'"
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